OMG! Like, is that like, hot?

Oh friends, do I have a tale to share with you!
Z and I encountered a group of morons last Friday night that made me feel like I was back in high school. Only not really because my friends in high school didn’t talk like these¬†buffoons. And if they did they probably wouldn’t have been my friends for that long. {That sounds really harsh but it will all make sense soon}
Z and I were out at Kampai hibachi and sushi celebrating my new job! {woot woot!} I’m sure you’ve all been to a restaurant like this, it’s the kind where they cook your food in front of you.

I’ve always loved these places because they make me feel like a kid on an elementary school field trip. I’m still amazed at the huge bursts of fire, egg tossing and knife spinning. Plus the food is fantastic and the white seafood sauce {aka YUM YUM sauce} is to die for. Seriously, when I’m old and heading toward the light, just hook that stuff up to my IV and let me go in creamy delicious peace. MMMM Yum Yum. ūüôā

Anyway, when we arrived at the restaurant {by motorcycle of course… so B.A.} all the tables were full and most were already cooking up a storm so we were seated at an empty table and the waitress took our drink order. We were soon joined by a woman and her squirmy little boy, about 2 years old. As she walked in and got him situated in a high chair she informed us that it was “close to his bed time”. She probably wanted to warn us just in case he started screaming and decided to throw his pacifier into the fried rice. The kid was fine and barely made a peep but it was our next set of guests that had Z, myself and mama bear cringing every time they opened their mouths.¬†
As we sat in peace, watching the royal wedding recap {I was watching, Z was entertaining the squirmy baby with funny faces and strange noises} our moment of tranquility was suddenly breached by valley girl chit chat, annoying giggles and too-cool-for-school bad-ass bro rebuttal. Apparently Dumb, Dumber and Drunk McGee were the final three to complete our table for the evening. The two girls had platinum blonde hair and eyeliner so thick they made Jack Sparrow look like make-up perfection:
They both had on SKIN TIGHT dresses and sky high heels. Their bumbling idiot of a companion looked, smelled and sounded like he’d already taken a swim in a keg of Natty Light and tried to cover it up with some cheap calogne. It was then that we knew that it was going to be an interesting night.¬†
When the waitress {who was a tiny mouse of a lady} came to take their drink orders the girls blurted out their diet soda requests {why was I not surprised?} and Drunk McGee ordered a Sake Bomb. {so much for my quiet evening of celebration with the hubs} I had never heard of a Sake Bomb but knew it had to be bad news. For those of you who are as in the dark as I was, a Sake Bomb is basically a Jager bomb with warm Sake. 

The waitress set the first one up for him, placing a napkin on the table in case of spillage. I’m not sure if the napkin is a normal practice or if she just had an¬†inkling¬†that Drunk McGee would find a way to make a mess. Either way, we watched in slight horror as the sure-to-be-catastrophe continued. McGee asked the super sweet waitress how to count to three in Japanese to make things REALLY official, and she informed him it was ichi-ni-san {itchy, knee, sahn}. Great, now the drunk smelly boy is speaking poor Japanese.
Now before I go on, there’s one more detail you should know. There is one other difference between a Jager bomb and a Sake bomb. As you see in the picture, the Sake is suspended above the glass of beer by two chopsticks. With Jager bombs you drop the shot into the glass but Sake bombs require a little more SHOW. In order to get the Sake to drop in the glass, one must BANG ON THE TABLE until the vibration makes the Sake drop. {hurray}
So. Drunk McGee YELLS for the entire restaurant to hear, “ICHY, NI, SAN” and proceeds to crash his¬†behemoth-like fist repeatedly on the table until the chopsticks part ways and the shot drops making a fizzy mess. The blonde bimbos giggled and clapped then cheered him on as he chugged the bubbling concoction {and by chugged I mean managed to only get 1/2 in his mouth while the rest flowed down the sides of his face… keeping it classy, of course}.
Once the excitement died down we put in our dinner order while the rest of the table continued to search the menu. Dumb and Dumber felt the need to talk the rest of us through their decision making processes as they figured out what and how much they wanted to eat. 

  • “OMG, do they have sushi here? We should totally do sushi. Where’s the waitress, I want sushi” -Dumb
  • “I’m getting the steak, I think. Or should I get chicken. I, like, can never decide. Maybe I’ll just get both, I can totally eat both.” -Dumber
  • “Doesn’t the salad come with that, like, REALLY good pink dressing stuff. I think it’s ginger or something. Is it ginger? That shit’s my favorite, what is it?” {yes, all three of them were cursing like sailors in ear shot of the little boy at the other end of the table. His mother’s eyes got bigger and bigger with each f-bomb. I’m surprised she didn’t say anything.} -Dumber
  • “Yo, how much food you gettin anyways? NO way you can eat all that shit.” – Drunk. McGee
  • “Oh my god, that grill is like, really really hot. I almost touched it you guys. HAHA. What if I had touched it?” – Dumber
  • “Yo, check it, it’s Sake bomb time!” – Drunk McGee

Now normally when I go to these places I walk in knowing good and well that I will NOT be able to finish my meal, because it’s NEVER HAPPENED. But I’m always excited that I’ll have left overs for the next day’s lunch! People, these girls BOTH ordered full plates of sushi with 10 rolls each and a full hibachi meal including a starter soup and salad {the ones with that good pink dressing stuff}.¬†
After they ordered things moved pretty fast. When the chef entered the room with his cart of goodies and tricks I was excited and ready to block out the idiocy beside me. That lasted about 2 seconds before dumber yelled out, “Please don’t give me any of that white sauce. That stuff is nasty. I only like the brown sauce, thaaaaaanks.” If I were not in such a good mood from learning of my new job I may have flown across the table to grab her and attempt to shake out the stupid. {It would have taken a LOT of shaking} The chef looked at her like the rude idiot she was, smiled, nodded and proceeded with this personalized cooking show. He was really fun and kept trying to get us to¬†interact¬†with him but dumb and dumber had moved on to a more important topic:

Dumber: “OMG that Asian girl wrote on your facebook wall? {yes, she said ASIAN GIRL}
Dumb: No, way, did she really? 
Dumber: Um, YEAH, Do you even know her? 
Dumb: No, ew. Why is she writing on my wall?
Dumber: What the hell, like, why did you accept her friend request?
Dumb: Oh my god, I don’t even know. Maybe I was drunk. HAHAHAHA!
Dumber: Oh my god I was so hungover this morning. Last night was, like, totally nuts.


This conversation carried on for the next 5 minutes until the chef started chucking pieces of egg into people’s mouths. He did a great job at making it look like it was part of the act but I think he was secretly trying to get them to shut up. Kudos chef man!

Once Drunk McGee had his turn at catching egg in his mouth he asked the chef if he could squirt Sake into his mouth next. Let me add that he was probably 3 Sake bombs deep at this point. At first I really thought the chef was going to do it but instead he used one of the many gag squirt bottles to fake Drunkface out. I found great pleasure in his humiliation. 
Next up, Dumber BLURTS out at the chef, “OMG, like, where is our sushi? Shouldn’t it be done by now? Isn’t it supposed to come before the meal?”. I swear chef man could have burned a hole in her head with the look he gave her but he shook it off, smiled and said that the sushi bar was really swamped and it should be out soon.¬†
 The rest of the night was as idiotic as the start, with more Sake bombs {yes, even more}, stupid comments and pictures being taken. Then Dumber saw someone she knew from across the room and proceeded to yell his name out to get his attention. He seemed to have the same number of brain cells that they did. 
Did I mention it was Dumb’s birthday? Yeah, she got a {FREE} giant piece of fried ice cream cake with a candle on top, which Dumber immediately commented on with, “Um, what the hell is that?” but not before the announced that the waitress ruined the surprise by telling them they were bringing out something special for the birthday girl. {She will do great things in life}¬†
The moral of this story is, avoid dropping your babies on their heads in the first few years of their life, avoid eating mushrooms unless they are in the produce section of a grocery store and when that little voice in your head tells to to take a big wif of that Sharpie marker, tell it to shove off. 


Until next time…
Have you ever had to share a dinner table with the world’s worst dinner guests?¬†





My Secret Desire To Be In The Circus But Not Really Because Trailer Life Blows Chunks!

It’s official. My Cirque Du Soleil cherry has been popped! WAHOOO!

On Saturday Z and I went on a circus adventure filled with crickets, butterflies, blooming flowers and silly clowns. Cirque Du Soleil’s OVO is currently at Atlantic Station and Z’s parents were kind enough to get us tickets for our anniversary. While I love Cirque and have seen MANY a Cirque show on video {Kooza, La Nouba, Alegria, Dralion, Saltimbanco, Quidam, Verekai}, I had never seen a show live.
Sad right? I mean my entire in-law family is made up of clowns, jugglers and mimes!
So anyway… I’d been dying to see a show live and finally got the chance!
I did my research about the show and knew that {based on the description from the website} OVO is “an immersion into the teeming and energetic world of insects”.

Just watching it again gives me chills!

Z and I were super excited to see the show and I about peed my pants when, as we approached Atlantic Station and the end of the Cirque traffic, this slowly came into view:

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
 
Really I was being such a child… pointing and saying things like “OH MY GOSH…THERE IT IS…I’M SO EXCITED… AHHHHHHH”
We were able to snap this pic outside the tent before they started seating… you can barely see it glowing in the background. Clearly I’m still cheesin’ like a little kid at this point!
 
 
It was super dark in there so we couldn’t really see anything until the show started but as soon as you walked through the doors {aka tent flaps} it smelled like grass and dew. It was so awesome. I asked Z if that was normal and he said no… that OVO had gone the extra mile to really get your senses stimulated. Later on in the show a GIANT flower flew in from the top of the tent and bloomed. About 5 seconds after it was in full bloom you got a big whiff of flowers. It was the coolest thing ever to feel like you were bug-sized experiencing things on their level.¬†
The clowns had me cracking up and every single act was more brilliant than the last. A silk number took my breath away while the trapeze, slack rope and trampoline acts had me picking my jaw up off the floor. My lovely little told me not to be surprised if I was overwhelmed by the numerous things going on at once but I stayed fairly focused on the main act. Although I would notice crickets or beetles scurry by the back part of the stage while the main performers kept me drooling.  
Everything was so amazing {have I used that word enough in this post yet?}, it’s pretty much impossible to pick a favorite act. I will say that they were smart to put an AMAZING {ha} trampoline act at the very end of the show… a perfect way to finish, if you ask me!
All I can say is I am thrilled to have finally seen a show and I can’t wait for the next one.¬†
SO, any Cirque fans out there in blogger world?
Until next time…

Holy Mashed Potatoes Batman!

So, you all know that last Thursday was Z’s birthday and since his rehearsal schedule kept us from taking any kind of road trip, we went out to a fancy-pants dinner instead! We splurged and went to Stoney River Legendary Steaks for dinner. It was pretty much the best meal we have ever eaten (no offense to all the wonderful cooks in our lives but WOW, this was REALLY amazing). The food was definitely the highlight of the evening but everything tiny aspect of our visit was nothing less than impeccable. 
When we got to the restaurant we were pleasantly greeted by a happy smiling hostess and directed to the most comfortable restaurant waiting bench I have ever sat on. {Did I mention that every teeny tiny aspect of this evening was perfect?} So after about a 5 minute wait we were escorted to our booth by yet another smiling hostess; she even cautioned us about the two small steps we had to take to get to the lower part of the restaurant. We took our seats and were quickly greeted by our server, Chris who, it just so happened, knew our name. He was the best server IN THE WORLD. Pleasant, relaxed, appropriately silly, perfect! The menu is small, but epic, and after a little assistance from Chris we ordered the following brilliant meal:
  • 7oz Coffee-Cured Fillet Mignon 
    • Au Gratin Potatoes and Sauteed Seasoned Spinach
  • Free Range Roasted Half Chicken infused with pancetta, garlic, lemon, shallots and rosemary
    • Mashed Potatoes and Sauteed Asparagus
Each bite was more delicious than the next and we both had to pause between each bite to talk about how good it was. I think Z could have written a short story with all he had to say about that steak, but after tasting a piece I would have to agree with everything he said including that it was the best steak he had ever tasted. 
Then, as it was Z’s birthday {and they asked us when we made our reservation if we were celebrating anything special so they were already on top of things} we got a complimentary dessert…a “small” slice of their $11 Triple-Layer Chocolate Ganache Cake. Never in a million years would I think a piece of cake was worth spending $11 unless there was gold baked into it but for a full piece of this cake… I would have paid more. And I know my chocolate. Even Z, who tends to only take chocolate in doses, was in chocolate shock at the sheer brilliance of the taste. Might I also add that this “sliver” of cake was enough for both of us to have our fill and still take some home for later. Imagine how big the real slice is! Now, if you know anything about Z and I you should know that one dessert is just not enough… so we ordered a little something to accompany our complimentary slice of chocolate heaven, the Cappuccino Cr√®me Brul√©e. WOW OH WOW OH WOW. It was my first time having Cr√®me Brul√©e and I have a feeling I will never be satisfied with anything other than THIS EXACT ONE. It was absolutely delicious. Creamy and filled with flavor and quite possibly the best thing I have ever eaten {I’ve said that a lot haven’t I?} 
I could continue to describe the beauty of this meal, but I would rather just go back and eat it all over again. I didn’t take pictures but I highly recommend looking over the menu or visiting the CLOSEST Stoney River Legendary Steaks to you. Look at me all of a sudden turning into an advertiser. Anyway… off to daydream about delicious dinners while I cook a simple spaghetti. 
Toodles!!!

Pin Wheels and Sore Muscles

Monday nights are Z and my “date night” since his show schedule has him at the theater every other night of the week (le sigh). So I’m always sure to go above and beyond in the cooking department… just to remind¬†him how awesome I am!

Last night’s main dish was prepared with the help of my girlfriend, Sandra Lee. ¬†Her Semi-Homemade cookbook makes me look like a pro (false) and gets both our tummies happy! I turned to one of our favorites… Steak Pinwheels with¬†Sun-Dried Tomato stuffing and¬†Rosemary Mashed Potatoes. YUM!
Here are a few snapshots to make you drool, buy all the ingredients, and make your own!

Thanks to Sandra Lee, Z and my Monday DATE NIGHT dinner was simply delicious. Being the totally rad wife that I am I even let him have the left overs while I packed a turkey sandwich for lunch. Geeze I’m nice! Once dinner was finished we rubbed our full bellies and snuggled up on our new couches, compliments of dear sweet Brooke., and watched King of California starring Michael Douglas and Evan Rachel Wood. An absolutely wonderful film and one that I highly recommend. It’s all about a quirky and unstable dad (Douglas) who, fresh out of a mental institute, takes his daughter (Wood) on a wild adventure searching for buried treasure in suburban California. It’s witty, comical, tragic and heartbreaking and perfect for a date night or quiet evening by your lonesome.
After the movie and a play session with Pigs and Buster, Z and I tackled the first day of our month-long At-Home BOOT CAMP, compliments of my buff brother Shawn and his training program,¬†Real World Fitness! Shawn is a personal trainer based out of L.A. I know what you might be thinking… but he’s not that kind of trainer! He is trying to focus on the feeling being healthy gives you instead of the appearance you may (or may not) gain. It’s not about what you look like but what you feel like when you are healthy and happy. I love that he is going at fitness with this attitude in such a silicone-filled place, now all he needs is support. Having visited LA a few times I can tell you that they aren’t short on fitness gurus, body builders, and narcissism. It’s sad that Shawn’s goal of “training your body and retraining your mind” isn’t at the forefront of fitness, but I suppose it’s the world we live in {Thanks Britney Spears}. Pardon me while I leap off my high horse. SO, If you are interested in joining the Real World Fitness boot camp, check out the link above and shoot him an e-mail with your interest. It’s not too late to sign up but don’t hesitate. All are welcome and the exercises utilize things you have around your house so there is no need to spend major bucks on a gym membership or exercise equipment. It’s all about staying fit in the comfort of your own home, because lets face it… with busy schedules how many of us pot ‘gym time’ on the back burner because it actually requires GOING to a gym? I’m feeling great after yesterday’s exercises and pumped about getting the next three for today!
Anyway… food, buried treasure, sore {in a good way} muscles. What a great way to start the week!